Maybe some of that sounds familiar. Maybe you’ve cried not being able to get a dress closed, or get a pair of jeans on, or stepping on the scales and thinking there was truth in the things we’ve been told we need to do to ourselves to be perfect, to be pretty, to be acceptable. To be good enough. To be desirable. That all of those things were true and the only way to live, and the only reason your diet isn’t working is because you weren’t trying. hard. enough.
I wanted to write this so anyone who finds the old posts I’ve written can see that these stories can have a happy ending. Being listened to and taken seriously and getting the help you need is undoubtedly an uphill battle, but it is not necessarily going to be your whole life. Someday it could be something you look back on.
My figurative anxiety toolbox was filled with tools for dealing with mental illness-y things that had no basis. Of identifying rogue emotions and coping. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘what to do when someone close to you dies’. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘how to cope when someone breaks into your home twice in a week and you’re home for the second attempt’. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘actual life shit that the whole world is effectively ill equipped to deal with and so are you and that’s okay’.
This was not the post I set out to write about this show. This was not the post I had imagined myself writing early on in the episodes, back when I thought 13 Reasons Why was a clever indictment of the flippancy with which young people say and do things. I thought it was a commentary on how, yeah, this stuff happens to people all the time – people get bullied. . People get hurt. – but that you’ve no way of knowing what will push a kid over the edge. You have no way of knowing how many buttons you’re pushing. I thought they were pulling no punches, asking the audience to decide for themselves how morally corrupt the entire setup was.
I recently discovered the absolute wonder of Netgalley and was over the moon that something like this site existed. For those unfamiliar with it, Netgalley is a place where bloggers and book reviewers can request galleys of soon-to-be-published books directly from publishers. I, of course, made the ultimate rookie mistake and requested all of the books I could get my hands on, and still have about 10 on my dashboard waiting for me as I didn’t expect to actually be approved for any of them….
Do you ever just sit back and notice yourself?
‘Art comes from a place of expression and it comes when it’s damn well ready.’ A Series of Erraticism on the art of loss and wading through grief.