I wanted to write this so anyone who finds the old posts I’ve written can see that these stories can have a happy ending. Being listened to and taken seriously and getting the help you need is undoubtedly an uphill battle, but it is not necessarily going to be your whole life. Someday it could be something you look back on.
My figurative anxiety toolbox was filled with tools for dealing with mental illness-y things that had no basis. Of identifying rogue emotions and coping. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘what to do when someone close to you dies’. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘how to cope when someone breaks into your home twice in a week and you’re home for the second attempt’. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘actual life shit that the whole world is effectively ill equipped to deal with and so are you and that’s okay’.
College, stress, and coping, and an analogy that will stress the feck out of anyone who was a FOB fan back in the day: