On not writing, meta-imposterdom and being very, very tired.

My figurative anxiety toolbox was filled with tools for dealing with mental illness-y things that had no basis. Of identifying rogue emotions and coping. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘what to do when someone close to you dies’. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘how to cope when someone breaks into your home twice in a week and you’re home for the second attempt’. It doesn’t have a section labelled ‘actual life shit that the whole world is effectively ill equipped to deal with and so are you and that’s okay’.

Doubts.

Do you ever just sit back and notice yourself?